Dominance and Abuse
I’m writing this post because on one of my three yahoo groups there’s been a lively discussion going on between one of my female members and some of the men. Basically she’s pretty much advocating what’s called the “loving SM” or “consensual submission” type of approach while some of the doms on there are accusing her of being a feminist out to wreck the group.
Anyone who wants to read the messages in full can see them on the yahoo group, “A Woman’s True Place.” The url is
Here’s the basic issue. She says that being a female submissive doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat and that being a male dominant doesn’t give you the right to treat girls like shit.
Now as it happens I’ve got some pretty wild and extreme views on what a man can or can’t do to a girl. I’ve openly posted my opinion that if a female gets raped it’s always her fault. I’d go so far as to say that a girl never has the “right” to refuse a man sex if he wants to fuck her. I’d also say that if she does refuse and gets “raped” by him then she is the one who should be punished and not him. He has done nothing wrong and the only one who’s behaved badly is the girl!
Frankly, I think rape should be legalised completely; it’s a victimless crime, after all.
I also believe that “domestic violence” should be legalised as well because a husband, partner or boyfriend does IMO have the right to impose discipline upon a girl who’s behaving badly, disobediently, disrespectfully and so on. “Domestic violence” in those sort of circumstances isn’t “abuse;” it’s just well-deserved domestic discipline.
Does that mean that a man can’t respect a girl? No, it doesn’t.
Does it mean that he shouldn’t respect her? No, it doesn’t.
Does it mean that he should treat her with contempt? No, it doesn’t.
Does it mean she’s a piece of shit? No, it doesn’t.
Personally I very much enjoy verbal abuse, physical degradation and a bit of handy violence.
That’s me and it doesn’t mean it has to be the same for everyone.
For what it’s worth my husband does love and respect me.
I’m very glad that he does.
Is it wrong for a dom to treat a sub as if she’s nothing?
I don’t think it’s right or wrong in the abstract; it all depends on the individual and their relationship together.
For some subs, being used like a piece of meat is heaven on earth.
For others, it’s hell.
I’m in between; I can go with the flow and enjoy either situation.
Anyway, I’d be very interested to hear other people’s thoughts, especially the gentlemen’s opinions.
In the meantime here’s a list of my sites: